a lim.
b liau.
b ang.
d ng.
d tay.
d kadam.
d sim.
d hum.
d wong.
e leong.
g goh.
h ng.
i koh.
j wong.
j tan.
j tay.
jy yong.
j zhou.
k wong.
k kong.
k khor.
(tuanku) k khor.
l lim.
m ong.
m wong.
m ong.
r tan.
s leong.
s tan.
s cho.
s yung.
t koh.
v ching.
yy tay.
z chia.

October 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 October 2013 November 2013 January 2014

layout: me !
host: X
photoshop

I guess it's only natural for humans to seek approval. It does bring a certain amount of warm satisfaction, knowing that you've pleased someone with your actions, and assures you that you're on the right path. And perhaps that's also why it hurts when your superiors give you the cold shoulder, especially for reasons you have no clue of.

For weeks, my Foxtrot APC had been seemingly taking every extra effort to avoid me. While the other instructors would still smile at me when we crossed paths, he would stare ahead and avoid my gaze, even if the instructor right next to him was engaging me in conversation. It was so bad that during social night, when my sectionmates called me over to ask him about my callsign, he very bluntly stated that he hadn't given me one, and proceeded to stare blankly at the very empty stage, creating an extremely awkward silence till I slipped away. As he was my section instructor as well, his behaviour left me very confused, wondering how I had fallen out of favour, and perhaps even earned his disapproval.

(Haha, I guess it also felt strange cos I'd never gotten on the bad side of any of my teachers or BB officers before --- some met with indifference, of course, but never disapproval. I mean, come on, even Mdm C.L., whom I terrorised to badly in Year 4, adored me for some unknown reason, even asking me for advice on how to be a better teacher, hahaha!)

But by God's grace, I was largely unaffected by all this. It is fortunate that Galatians 1:10 stood out to me all this while: "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." During my time in Foxtrot, it reminded me to do things out of God's genuine love for others instead of pandering for their approval for a higher peer appraisal score. And by God's grace, when I sought to serve Him first, He naturally provided for my earthly needs, and as I said before, I won over people's hearts without even knowing how or why! So similarly in dealing with my APC, I heeded the reminder of the verse, and was able to completely brush off any feelings of rejection. Since I have the approval of the most important person in my life, I needn't waste my time worrying about this other guy's approval. (:

It's the most liberating feeling, to be able to walk around with this knowledge in mind. No longer a slave to human perceptions, but confident of my identity in Him (: The enemy has been defeated.

AMEN;
7:51 pm

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